Snip Snip

The evidence is there, it written all over the bathroom walls.  My flowered toothbrush sticks out like a nun in a whorehouse almost as much as the face wash and the Dove exfoliating body wash among minimal man products in the shower.  What is more scary than the presence of my bobby pins on his nightstand is how easily I leave my phone charger plugged in, knowing I will need it the next night.  5 nights a week in his bed is becoming an unquestioned fact.

It's been a seamless transition to domestication and in a mere two months I have been neutered.  I have new found sympathy for my friends dog, Indy, who just lost his balls.   Like him, I too want to lick my stitches and act like nothing has changed me.  But I don't have the luxury of sadation or that funny plastic collar.  I wish I could say this introspection was triggered by my urge to blow a hot bartender, but it wasn't.  It was the opposite.  It was that I didn't want to blow a hot bartender or anyone but Beni for that matter.

Maybe I should change the title of this blog, it isn't really the snog blog I envisioned, maybe it should be called "Caged Tiger" (Little Tiger, as Beni calls me, I wish it was solely because I possess some tiger-like sexual prowess...but it isn't) or "Domesticating an American", "Closing down the Whorehouse", I'm open to name suggestions.....

I told Beni, I needed a night out with the girls, I really needed to go out, dance, flirt freely, and drink with the girls.  It was a Dutch dance party and the Dutch are known for being beautiful so I didn't want the boy around, terrible I know.  It's not that I wanted to do anything, I wanted to look and maybe dance with a beautiful dutch boy.  On the way to dance with the Dutch, I did find out that Scotsman do not wear anything under those kilts.....stag parties are a wonderful thing, even more wonderful when said Scotsman has a nice ass!  His ass and my intoxication were supposed to be signs of a great girls night out.  The boys were beautiful and we were drunk but by 12:30 I just wanted to dance up on my foreigner, so much for a girls night!  And just like that Beni got out of bed, hopped in a cab, and found me after a 2 minute drunken plea.  40 pounds for a cab, 10 pound cover, and 15 for two drinks.....40 minutes later he was handing a cab driver another 30 pounds to take my drunk ass home.  A complete waste of time and money for him!

As he told the story to his cousin the next day, it was clear that he too had be snipped.  The boy who only months earlier was sandwiched in between two Brazilian women dancing and taking turns kissing both of them( thanks to Big Brother for that fun story!), was now traveling all over town to pick up his drunk girlfriend.  He takes this new role easier than I do.  I have been grasping on to any last shred of singledom...don't get me wrong, I want nothing to change, I want those 5 nights in bed with him, I want the evidence of my role in the shower but I don't necessarily want everyone to be able to see that I want that.

Earlier this week any doubt of my status was erased thanks to some facebook stalking by his cousin.  I don't know why I was surprised it came up, I have been under the watchful eye of my makeshift Albanian family for weeks.  I had just had the conversation with Ash about purposly not changing my status on facebook;  (I did not want to notify my "500 closest aquaintances" of my new status via a social networking site) when it came up.  Maybe it's just the thought of seeing that damn broken heart on the news feed when someone gets dumped that made me not want to.  His cousin was not happy that my status read single and he made sure Beni wasn't happy about it either.  After saying I "would get around to it later" was ignored, it was clear this was not my battle to win.  I said it wasn't a big deal and without missing a beat he said to change it now...if it wasn't a big deal of course.  Not having a computer wasn't an excuse, he pulled it up on my phone.  The facebook world was notified and some shock was expressed.  With that stupid change in profile information there was no doubt or denying left.  I have no idea why something that stupid and little was so difficult for me to do but if I get dumped in a week, I'm going to be really pissed when that broken heart shows up!