All my planning, all my avoiding, and all my denial is worthless. I have friends here but it's easy to get away with things because they don't know me very well yet. Being away from my friends and family, those who know me better than I know myself, makes it easy to forget what it's like to be called out on my bullshit. I definately missed being surrounded by people who know the answer before asking the question and know the lie before it comes out of my mouth.
It was somewhere in between hearing I was missed and watching my friends dance and laugh with the boy that I realized I was fucked. Apparently I was the last to know it but I love the Albanian, despite of and maybe because of all our differences. I have tried to avoid getting caught up in anything serious, I tried to create a situation where I can do whatever I want without consequence, and figured I would spend the year making out with a new hottie every weekend....it doesn't sit well with me knowing I do not have complete control in this situation...so much for plans.
The girls adore him which makes me adore him more. Friday we went out with my Albanian crew, Beni, Darling, and Best Cousin aka Rocky. They definately know how to treat us well, the drinks flowed way too quick and the boys spun us around on the dancefloor, making sure we were nothing but happy. And then I got some liquid courage....I told the boy what the girls already knew, that I loved him. I have never been the first to say these words and the idea makes me more and more scared. The little fucker replied with a kiss and "I know...." Not exactly what I figured the response would be. Luckily he followed that up with "te dua", I love you in Albanian....apparently he had told me a week earlier in his language because he knew it might scare me off if he said it in mine. Of course at the time I had no idea because he randomly says shit in his language and I don't always ask for translations. He picked me up, hugged me, and said it again in english. We went back to the group and had a drink before I really freaked out in my head......I didn't really plan on all this but fuck it I was never really good at planning anyway.
The rest of the night was a drunken blast, I can't remember the last time I had that much fun! I spent the night at his house, afterall it's pretty cramped in my flat at the moment! At the bar Darling told me Beni bought me a present for my birthday, so I demanded to get it early when we got back. He didn't put up much of a fight and handed over the cute necklace he bought me.
It was somewhere in between hearing I was missed and watching my friends dance and laugh with the boy that I realized I was fucked. Apparently I was the last to know it but I love the Albanian, despite of and maybe because of all our differences. I have tried to avoid getting caught up in anything serious, I tried to create a situation where I can do whatever I want without consequence, and figured I would spend the year making out with a new hottie every weekend....it doesn't sit well with me knowing I do not have complete control in this situation...so much for plans.
The girls adore him which makes me adore him more. Friday we went out with my Albanian crew, Beni, Darling, and Best Cousin aka Rocky. They definately know how to treat us well, the drinks flowed way too quick and the boys spun us around on the dancefloor, making sure we were nothing but happy. And then I got some liquid courage....I told the boy what the girls already knew, that I loved him. I have never been the first to say these words and the idea makes me more and more scared. The little fucker replied with a kiss and "I know...." Not exactly what I figured the response would be. Luckily he followed that up with "te dua", I love you in Albanian....apparently he had told me a week earlier in his language because he knew it might scare me off if he said it in mine. Of course at the time I had no idea because he randomly says shit in his language and I don't always ask for translations. He picked me up, hugged me, and said it again in english. We went back to the group and had a drink before I really freaked out in my head......I didn't really plan on all this but fuck it I was never really good at planning anyway.
The rest of the night was a drunken blast, I can't remember the last time I had that much fun! I spent the night at his house, afterall it's pretty cramped in my flat at the moment! At the bar Darling told me Beni bought me a present for my birthday, so I demanded to get it early when we got back. He didn't put up much of a fight and handed over the cute necklace he bought me.
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awwe! Cute necklace :) miss your face!!
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