I haven't been sleeping much, I can't seem to turn off the internal calculater, constantly talleying up my student loans.  It took about 2 days after finding out I passed, for the panic to set in.  Further intensified by a few threatening emails from the all powerful loan corporations.  In my best efforts to man-up, I called Citibank to discuss options aka cry my way into a deference extension.  Apparently, Citi understanding the time are tough, sympathizing with the American student....eliminated all payment plans, consolidation, forbearance, and anything else that might ease the pain of overwhelming debt.  So, I am instantly behind... as if $180,000 in loans wasn't enough of a handicap.  I'm trying to turn this into handicapable... but its not working, how is anyone supposed to recover from this?  I mean I knew it would happen, the debt would catch up, but I thought somewhere out there, there would be something in place for people like me.  No wonder the Brits were up in arms over tuition increases....they saw it was one step closer to opening Pandora's box aka America's education system.  I don't know how much longer I can hold out hope that my 8 years of education will get me anywhere near where I need to be to pay Uncle Sam back.....

On top of having to beg another bank to take my debt and set up a payment plan....I am flathunting.  It would be exciting, except I am 2 weeks away from being flat-less.  My fingers and toes are crossed that something, anything, gives....