Next!

We waited for nothing.  No amount of luck, praying, or fuzzy rabbit's feet would have changed the outcome. It ended like I was told it would.


I should have known the outcome as we stood in the rain queuing behind other American dream chasers. The gauty gold eagle loomed over armed gaurds parading past each state flag. Metropolitan Police paced on the other side of the high gates enclosing the embassy, calling in hopefuls 3 by 3 to begin security checks. Car keys, mobile phones, Key fobs, and any electronic devices require storage at 'preferred vendors' before entering the security kiosk. Nothing says we welcome the masses like machine guns, 7ft gates and a gold eagle peering earily as if to scoop you up and throw you right back to whatever border you hoped to crossed.

The night before, we watched videos issued by Border Control and played pop quiz with any potential questions. He stayed up late shaving and fretting over the perfect Visa interview outfit. Nervously he woke up at 5:30 am, to practice and study any paperwork before his 9:30 appointment. I can't say I have prepared as much for a job interview!

He met me at the Starbucks almost 3 hours later.  I thought he was teasing, when he told me he was denied.  I asked again only to hear him relay the story again.  The officer took his passport and asked: 'What is the reason you want to visit the US?'  'To spend Christmas with my girlfriend and her family'  The officer handed a generic letter through the glass and quickly replied 'I'm sorry but No'  Beni tried to ask for a reason but was silenced by the guy yelling 'Next'

The urge to cry made me rush out of Starbucks, I barely made it to Oxford Street before bursting into tears.  I don't know if it was the disappointment that we would spend our first Christmas and New Years on other sides of the world; or the anger at my embassy's decision that he wasn't worthy; it was mostly the way he apologised for disappointing me.  It was just another sign that our relationship, plagued with differences, was going to be more challenging that we realised.  We have spent the past 2 months planning our holiday: the Christmas tree in NY, holiday parties with my friends and family, mummers parades, and maybe a day in DC.  Now we are talking about our early Christmas before we both fly to our home countries.

I found myself defending American more than I am comfortable with since I've moved.  If it isn't our politics, it's the American attitude.  But this day has made me embarrassed, angry, and ashamed of our policies.  I can't begin to think of a reason or an argument to defend this situation.  We have lost sight of what made our country so appealing in the first place.  I am bais, I know but I can't help feeling that this was nothing more than a clean cut case of discrimination.  I cannot think of a person more deserving to see the world, yet he is denied for his nationality.  I would love to see America's reaction if everyone started denying us entry for the passports we carry. 

Maybe we are glutans for disappointment but we will try again.  I refuse to let a beaurocrat behind glass tell me that my boyfriend and I are not worthy of the awkward meet the parents part of a relationship.